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Kitchen Apocalypse

Eating with the Fishes

I am about finished with dinner

I don’t mean tonight’s dinner. I mean all dinners. Finished. Kaput. No más.

Because it is a scientifically proven fact that children suck at dinnertime.

6 o’clock at our house looks one of two ways:

  1. I cook what’s good for us. I massage kale. I roast beets. I dice cucumbers. I pan sear a nice piece of fish. When we sit down to dinner, there is wailing and gnashing of teeth. The children maybe eat the cucumbers.

OR

  1. I cook what they want. I open a box of nonsense. Microwave some chicken. Maybe slice a cucumber. When we sit down to dinner, there is jubilation. I am the best mom ever. I curse and eat the cucumbers.

Either way, dinner is a wash.

From here on out, I’m cooking breakfast* and maybe making sandwiches for lunch.

But from this point forward, dinner will be cucumbers.

 

*Unless breakfast is gluten-free.  Because if we are still giving up gluten, folks are gonna be on their own for that meal, too.

 

Um, does anyone have a recipe for gluten-free pancakes that doesn't, you know, suck?
Um, does anyone have a recipe for gluten-free pancakes that doesn’t, you know, suck?

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