Cheerios
A dead scorpion
Seventeen empty water bottles
Five rolls of Scotch tape
Half a bag of melted gummy bears
Cheese
Markers without lids, lids without markers, none that matched
Two remotes to two different broken DVD players
Diapers, new and used
Kleenex, new and used
Bubble gum, new and used
Six tubs of baby wipes, none of which can ever be located when changing an actual baby
Half a sandwich
Stickers on the windows
Handprints on the windows
Footprints on the windows
Tongue prints on the windows
Enough preschool artwork to fill an exhibit entitled: “How My Parents Did Not Love Me Enough to Keep My Preschool Artwork”
One explosively rancid applesauce pouch
One tooth, probably human, unlikely ours
One baby seat completely unanchored to its adult host seat
A pickle